Friday, January 28, 2005

Bald, black-cloaked, he hunches over and ignores the circling crows, who tease and chatter insults as he unwraps a rodent sandwich. Gone when I return, next afternoon he roosts on the sidewalk as if waiting for the bus: blinking, silent, passive. A neighbor says they used to hang out in Nellie Gail, where you have to be a member of the homeowner's association to ride the horse trails or at least pay up; but the wealthy denizens of that former ranch didn't like the bad element and pushed them out of the neighborhood.

On Point Reyes 500 miles north, say, 13 years ago, I saw a flock perched noiselessly over a sea cliff. As I gingerly stepped across the rain-charged grass, they remained suspiciously still, as if I'd stumbled upon a drug deal. Though it's likely he has simply come down from the wintery mountain to vacation in warm suburbia, this stranger on the street corner seems similarly up to no good. He's the first I've witnessed since that sketchy encounter in '92.

I'm not sure why we assign human attributes to animals; maybe we're so related that we see ourselves in their behavior. But it's a bummer buzzards get such a bad rap. The California condor, an older cousin of the turkey vulture, remains mostly behind bars. Estranged family members down south have had trouble, too -- though it was nice to learn they saw a little freedom yesterday.

Monday, January 24, 2005

The Pacific from here to Santa Barbara has lately spit out oiled birds. Perplexed scientists offer the survivors a free bath and a return ticket offshore. At the same time, giant squid have slopped onto the sand DOA in Orange County, and public dissections in Dana Point reveal few clues. These may be separate mysteries or one combined. Those in the know have eliminated "natural seepage" from possible postulations. What a relief! All nature needs is another black mark on its sketchy rap sheet, even if lately the whole thing's a frame.

The squid, some think, have traveled from South America to replace a predator paucity in local waters. Sharks and the like have little space between nets and kayaks to do their thing, and poachers have helped push down populations cuz jaws look cool on the wall and shark fin soup is dee-licious. Why the squid have lately turned belly up is anyone's guess at this point.

The oil sludge has a source either undiscovered or unreported by a slippery conglomerate. Men have dug down into the primordial muck to suck up dinosaur guts and run them through internal combustion engines for so long -- and in so many places -- that we can't even figure out which pipe has burst. Well, we gotta drive, ya know. And often.

The tsunami human toll now tops 225,000, an enormous blow to millions of families. Still it's increasingly clear people could have avoided most of those deaths by not covering every island half a foot above sea level with hotels and trinket stands. Also heeding well-documented precedent and getting the heck back from suddenly water-absent beaches might have helped. Nobody rightly deserves to be washed out to sea, but, really, how embarrassing.

Meanwhile the California super storm a couple weeks ago takes the blame for broken sewage lines, and raging rivers of filthy city flotsam have turned the ocean into a bacterial porridge. Surfers ride in peril, children risk life wading, but it's not overpopulation's fault, or non-existent urban planning. It's all that rain.

Sad, huh.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Wait, the sun's about an hour from the sea, but still the scraps of wild stitched and mottled seep with rain. The trail has narrowed at its pit and grows so steep I run along, shifting weight from stone to clay. Beyond the city's patchwork, snow deflects the afternoon: mountains here? And underneath a half-lit moon, high above the wires in a long-forgotten sky, the white turns pink. Puddles left from yesterday draw brazen bugs and skittish prey (I can only wave the flying ones away). And then I stop to keep from sliding, since the path has evened out; eye-level with a raven: black back shining, circle widening, underneath, returning to the canyon, he settles in the brush. Preserved, reclaimed; limestone segues into sage, cactus, crippled oak, this narrow snag of nature, wrong shade of an old frayed thread, retouched. See.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Where I drive to get out of here, rumor has it catfish roam above the asphalt, deposited in the middle of the street by swollen lakes. Helicopters hover overhead now that the rain has stopped, to capture footage of the vast mud puddle forcing people to drive three miles out of their way. The news brief before "The Simpsons" claims that Laguna Canyon Road is under water, but it's not true. That section of the fabled route leading Charlie Chaplin and Bette Davis to their cottages by the sea -- a narrow byway lined by sky-brushing eucalyptus groves and California oak -- no longer exists. Last summer I watched orange-vested men break it into pieces and build a wide replacement somewhat higher off the ground. This improvement isn't finished, but it is --more accurately-- what has flooded: the brand-new four-lane highway connecting the twelve-lane freeway to the eight-lane toll road. The former, 20th-century Laguna Canyon Road sits in a big pile, gray chunks of history forming a temporary dumpsite. But it's not as bad as it sounds. The new design, they say, is better all around.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Roughly 30 years ago when rainwater cascaded and leaped from the roof gutter, in heavy white drops that splat on the driveway and melted away, I called it popcorn. The way it bounced and arced in all directions would have, I guess, reminded a child of the sight and sound of popcorn's slow-motion spectacle, back in days pre-microwave.

I hear the same sound outside my bedroom window now. The low accompanying strings of wind above my high ceiling are like the afterthought of a master furiously conducting the percussion of his winter symphony. I don't watch the local news and don't know the width or length of this storm. Should I? Above this hillside acreage of apartment homes, the backbone of a coastal ridge could, conceivably, crumble into pieces. Who knows? Maybe mud is moving my way. A seven-year-old wouldn't know the difference, he wouldn't care; he would only delight in the energy a storm infuses into his small world.

In Southern California, rain like this is so infrequent I can remember specifically the last time -- eight years ago this month -- when bewildered businessmen built sandbag levees on Santa Monica Boulevard, and BMWs floated down the same river as shopping carts.

That may be happening now. I should find a link or two.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I think about all that money pouring toward the region like a steady rush of water. As it collects in pools and reservoirs, some overflows and relocates where it doesn't belong, spills into places not meant to have so much. I wonder what will happen to all this liquid cash? I guess what doesn't saturate the bank accounts of governors will backwash into the abysmal sea and dissolve. This area has needed money before, but it took a rare -- though not unprecedented -- natural "disaster" to tap that deep and profligate well. The snap and spectacle of this endless news flash distracts from countless thirsty causes unreported by the popular press. With charity earmarked to help out people who linger in a perpetual self-inflicted crisis, nothing will go to those who need it most. I used to see a shaggy, skittish expatriate of this region living in Los Angeles years ago; she moved to Cincinnati and managed to have a child, the first birth of a Sumatran rhino in captivity in 112 years. This makes our country home to four members of this dwindling family, lonely representatives of a species drowning not under waves of water, but under a tide of human ignorance.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

I hang my hat these days up the hill and across the street from Laguna Audubon, built by award-winning creekbed fillers and giant lego stackers. A headstrong corporate hodgepodge "preserved" half the land only because they could not glue condominiums to a 90-degree cliff. The houses and whatnot have an inch or two between them, crouched flat in the ravine or perched close together like beige pigeons on the mesa overhead. A wide swath of asphalt pours down from the top to the bottom; this is the north end of Aliso Creek Road, ending at El Toro. Anyway, the tiniest one-bedrooms sell for over $320 thousand; I know because I toured one last spring. It was about 600 square feet inside, looked like the shadowy lobby of a dentist's office and made my brain itch. All of Aliso Viejo, the master-planned community over yonder, is like this: "wilderness areas" scattered amidst cinched-up architecture, all light pastels and cream walls, SUVs, dog parks, adobe churches and towne centers (they add the "e") and, incredibly, bike lanes. I don't know who slipped those past the muckamucks, but thanks.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Geological forces should know better than to compete with human sentiment. The Earth always loses -- no matter if it's only doin' what comes naturally. For a change mankind is guilt free; we didn't heat up the mantle layer with our greenhouse gases. Still, 120,000 deaths and counting cannot match the 250,000 rise in world population a day earlier -- owing to unsheathed whoopie in the third world and a lifespan free-for-all in the West, where nobody dies unless caught off guard. We'll have 250,000 more people living on the planet tomorrow, and even more the day after that. No stemming the tide there. But as the press reminds us with its remixed daily obituary: "We should be sad. Send money." We care about these people, unless they take our jobs. Also, at any given moment we might go to war with them. That's another irony of this region, on 24-hour terrorist watch but without a tidal warning system. So why the bad P.R.? Nature only woke up a little, then went back to sleep. We can continue to party.

Monday, December 27, 2004

As I gather it, the ocean receded, sucked from the shore by a silent vacuum beyond the horizon. Then suddenly, like an aggressive wet dog, it ran back and trampled over everything. So impolite. So unwanted. The sea rose up and reminded people of where life comes from in the first place, and it took a few of its decendents with it. Well, in each of those countries, the people will be replaced. In fact, the number of human deaths matches the loss of a few grains of sand on the beach, already returned. How valuable are we as a species? Why do we call mass death a cataclysm but ignore the problems created by mass birth? We live in a world of increasing anonymity and insignificance, yet we make such a big deal out of some people we don't know. Caring might help if it lasted. It might spread education, level ignorance, decrease our numbers and increase our value. But we'll forget as we rebuild, and build more, and continue to bury the Earth under reconstituted bits of itself: plastic, concrete, rust and man.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I remember now that the free press in Crooked Corners closed its doors a month or so ago. In that fictitious town there is no press that costs money -- only time -- but I don't think anyone spent either minutes or cents. In a way I have created emptiness out of thin air. My work would gather moss if it had even landed. But I am not a cliche from Eliot:

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
[They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
[They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.


because I know very well that there is no time to waste. If I've wasted any time, it has also wasted me. The clock hides its face in its hands.

Monday, December 20, 2004

There's no reason to believe that this will amount to much. "A total of 746 blog sites have been added in the past 7 days," reports Blogarama. So in striving to be heard, to express our unique selves, we create the din of an electronic rain forest. Beyond the edge of our flat-screen monitors, six billion voices compete in the dark. We count on cold technology to keep us warm, to keep us safe, but it does neither; instead it dampens the flames of our individuality and -- while eliminating personality -- makes our security irrelevant. Humanity destroyed the wild and replaced it with something more ferocious and unfathomable: a hyper-complex spinning ball of fuses and wire. It integrates while it erases. So this is what rotates around the sun today, the Web as planet.

Monday, December 13, 2004

My cold black coffee makes me think of perplexing minimalist "works" at MOCA and MAM, fine as intellectual extensions producing beautiful exercises in art speak but rarely moving or even engaging as art itself: a sliced canvas, a string of fiberglass. I also think my boss shouldn't be so cheap; after a year I no longer search the cabinets for non-dairy creamer, which is why my coffee gets cold; as with those museum pieces, I lose interest if nothing's put into it. When the union forms, I'll demand Rothko-grade java at least.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

This is a wall of wild space, reformed; the rest shoves up against it, not civilization, not civil, no, just all this stuff we've made, with its indecent noise and low orange fog, the lights and metal and road and brick, the vinyl and plastic, the plumbing of mankind... This, this is green in wintertime and golden in the summer, and I like it, I wish I lived here, but I would have to give up everything, my clothes, my angst, my tendency toward the horizontal. Also, they won't let you in at night, and during the week you need a permit.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

As we drive on this road for the 300th time I notice ahead the open sky; it's really dark except for our headlights and the occasional string of Christmas wire wrapped around the old twigs of a windbreak near a farmhouse; actually it is probably more like the 100th; but ahead of us, so many thousands of miles north, patterns form like green ice in the sky, a projected forest so high and wide in scale it throws me back into the primeval. And then, as if to say this is what you're missing, a white falling star, like a single snowflake, disintegrates and dies up there, and I almost don't notice the six brown does crossing one by one from right to left at nearly midnight, moving while the hunters sleep.